i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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