But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
