my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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