why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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