dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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