My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
