Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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