She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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