Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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