I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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