The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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