haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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