hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
