yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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