you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
