every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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