A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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