I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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