There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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