wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
