Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
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For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
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I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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