It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
