and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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