Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
