so that wasnt chicken after all
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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