So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
