nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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