What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
