She announced her abortion via fbk
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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