Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
