that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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