i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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