We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Floor bacon is actually really good
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