I just cut my nipple shaving
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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