recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
