it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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