well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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