Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
