I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
