I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
