But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
