he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
