Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
