I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize