Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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