Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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