the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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