She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
