There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Randomize
