so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
