I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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