So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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