Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
