Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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