even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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