You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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