So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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