And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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