I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
