You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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