Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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