I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
