oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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