It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
