Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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