True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh god it's open bar.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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