There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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